Did I Really Say That on Facebook? (Vol. VI)

August 7 at 8:00 AM

If you dumped my brains in a blender and pushed frappe, it would sound something like this:

• How ironic that a health bill can be bad for a country's economic health.
• But if we deprived the village of it's idiot, there wouldn't be anyone left!
• Hopefully you’re not dancing around in your underwear because you think you’re Tom Cruise.
• Lesbians for Bush. Bush for Lesbians. Any questions?
• Welcome to the idiot's club. Now accepting applications!
• I'd tell you the truth, but I'd be lying...
• Screw sleep. Become a vampire!
• The dollar is the new penny.
• Just try putting that between two slices of bread!
• Let fools be fools.
• Support your local cannibal. Donate a limb!
• Be all high and mighty. Execute a peasant!
• Don’t give a dam? Eat a beaver.
• Scruffy tastes better with a little salt.
• Break their legs, then eat their brains. Go zombies, go!
• Proud to carry on my father’s tradition of wearing poorly matched clothes in public.
• Zombies are making a come back!
• Can't say I've ever tried peanut butter and fried rat.
• The day got off to a good start after I ran over the cat.
• It takes two to make a quarrel. Or occasionally just one.
• Organization and motivation--what a striking pair!
• Now is not the time to let up.
• Brain dead. Think I need a new hard drive.
• Saving faeries, slaying dragons--all in a day’s work!
• What’s that? You use real paint in your toothpaste? Great. Do you have any primer-flavored toothpaste as well? Preferably translucent interior latex?