Humorous Headlines

The following are links to real news stories from around the world. Please note that these external links may become broken over time as content providers are in the constant cycle of reorganizing their content. If you would like add a story that isn't here or report a broken link, please contact us.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

• 'Nicotine Ninja' Prefers Brand-name Cigs >>
• Eggs, Hashbrowns And A Gun? >>
• Fleeing Suspect Sought Burrito >>
• Michigan Teacher Spends 65 Hours In Tree >>
• Pizza Driver Nabs Suspect In Own Robbery >>

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

• Flu Keeps Spanish Woman From Learning Of Lottery Jackpot >>
• Stimulus Check Sent To Long-dead Woman >>

Monday, May 11, 2009

• Naked Woman Knocks On Doors For Cigarettes >>

Friday, May 8, 2009

• Beef Jerky Business Cards? >>

Monday, May 4, 2009

• Man Cut Off, Ate Finger To Protest Overdue Wages >>

Friday, March 27, 2009

• Thief Tries To Rob Officer At Cop Convention Gathering >>

Friday, March 13, 2009

• Funeral Director Wants To Barter Services >>
• Man Caught In HOV Lane With Unbuckled Dummy >>
• Man Unwisely Tries To Rob Tae Kwon Do Studio >>
• Postcard Arrives In Ohio 47 Years Late >>
• Woman Discovers Hungry Cat Hiding In $27 Couch >>

Thursday, March 12, 2009

• Angry Customer Bites Owner Over Bad Haircut >>
• PETA Wants To Flavor Tofu With George Clooney's Sweat >>

Monday, March 9, 2009

• Police: Woman Tried To Pay For Purchase With Fake $1M Bill >>
• Vatican: Washing Machine Liberated Women The Most >>

Saturday, March 7, 2009

• Georgia Inmate Arrested Trying To Get Back In Jail >>
• Man Slips While Climbing Utility Pole; Saved By Pants >>

Friday, March 6, 2009

• Malaysian Fisherman Uses WWII Bomb As Anchor >>
• Woman Marks 108th Or 111th Birthday >>

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

• Man Assaults Chuck E. Cheese Mascot >>

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

• Woman Uses Wedgie To Capture Suspected Thief >>

Sunday, February 8, 2009

• Boy Marries Dog To Ward Off Tiger Attacks >>

Monday, January 12, 2009

• Would-be Bride, 107, Seeks First Husband >>

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

• Police Seek Blow-up Doll Sex Bandit >>

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

• Woman, 88, Gives Naked Intruder The 'Squeeze' >>

Monday, December 29, 2008

• Detective Asks To Use Bathroom, Finds Stolen Gun >>

Friday, December 26, 2008

• Mexican Says Cops Threatened Him With Lion >>

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

• Lonely Man Jumps Into Polar Bear's Cage In Berlin >>

Monday, December 22, 2008

• Man Arrested For Flashing Gang Signs In Santa Pic >>

Thursday, December 18, 2008

• Burger King Launches Beef-Scented Body Spray >>

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

• Father Offers Daughter To Shoe-Thrower >>

Friday, December 12, 2008

• Pajama Police Fight Shanghai's Daytime Love Of Nightwear >>

Thursday, December 11, 2008

• Cops Follow Snow Tracks, Arrest Pizza Thieves >>
• Louisiana Man Stabbed After Refusing To Have Sex With Girlfriend >>
• Man Handcuffs Wife To Bed; Misplaces Key >>

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

• "Butt Bandit" Case Cracked >>
• No, It's Not Santa: Burglar Gets Stuck In Chimney >>

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

• Chinese Girl Gets 'Kiss Of Deaf' >>
• Three KFC Employees In Hot Water For Dip In Restaurant's Sink >>

Monday, December 8, 2008

• Dog Tries To Rescue Dog Hit By Car >>  Video >>

Friday, December 5, 2008

• Dog Frozen To Sidewalk; Fat Helped It Survive >>

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

• Why Won't The Polar Bears Mate? They're Both Female >>

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

• Bra For Boys An Online Bestseller In Japan >>

Saturday, November 22, 2008

• Panda In China Zoo Bites Student Who Wanted A Hug >>

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

• City Threatens Blind Woman Over Unpaid 1-cent Bill >>
• Disgruntled 8-year-old Boy Crashes Teacher's Car >>

Saturday, November 15, 2008

• Man Trying 50 Different Jobs In 50 States Over 50 Weeks (Video) >>
• ‘Holy Thugs’: Venezuelans Worship Popular ‘Saints’ Known For Lives Of Crime (Video) >>

Friday, November 14, 2008

• 'Second Life' Ends Couples' First Marriage >>
• Condom Ringtone, Ads Push Sales In India >>
• Homeless Man's Untimely Nap Damages Church's Organ Pipes >>
• Man Accused Of Urinating On Arresting Officer >>
• Mayor To Town Folk: You're Too Stupid To Work With >>
• US Space-Funeral Company Plans To Launch Lunar Cemetery >>

Thursday, November 13, 2008

• Beer Truck Driver Accused Of Driving Drunk >>
• Robber Threatens To Complain After Finding No Cash >>
• Russian Orthodox Church Stolen Brick By Brick >>
• Viva Viagra! Mexico City To Distribute To Men 70 And Older >>

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

• Call To Action: Pastor Issuing 7-Day Sex Challenge >>
• Canadian Prisoner, Too Fat For Cell, Released Early >>
• French 'Spider Man' Scales Tower In Indonesia >>
• Ohio Gym Hit By Thieves Who Take Boxing Ring >>
• Old Threads: Man Creates Mammoth Twine Ball >>

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

• Husband's Coffin Kills Woman On Way To Cemetery >>
• Man Gives Cops ID, Speeds Away >>
• Peru Offers Bald Dog Of Incas To Obamas >>
• Woman Finds Frozen Pig Head On Pole In Yard >>

Monday, November 10, 2008

• Cops Have Tough Time Finding Sober Driver For Boy >>

Friday, November 7, 2008

• Ohio School Cleared Over Show And Tell Grenade >>
• Pres. Bush's Dog Bites Reporter >>

Thursday, November 6, 2008

• Careful Burglar Takes No Chances And Wears 2 Masks >>
• Man Attempts To Pay $32 Bar Tab With Gum Wrappers >>
• Man Cleaning With Blowtorch Sets House On Fire >>

Thursday, October 23, 2008

• Woman Jailed After 'Killing' Virtual Husband >>

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

• Appeal Opens In $54 Million Lost Pants Case >>
• Do 5 Simple Things A Day To Stay Sane, Say Scientists >>
• Robbery Suspect Snags Cash, Leaves Thumb >>
• UK Police Find Naked Burglary Suspect In Chimney >>

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

• Police Say Fake Cop Busted After Stopping Real One >>

Monday, October 20, 2008

• Woman Chooses Jail Over $7.45 Bill >>

Friday, October 17, 2008

• Pa. Man Chows Down Belly-busting, 15-lb. Burger >>
• World Record Sandwich? Iranians Eat Evidence >>

Thursday, October 16, 2008

• Deputy Learns Tasers Don't Work Well On Wild Boars >>

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

• Suit Against God Thrown Out Over Lack Of Address >>

Saturday, October 11, 2008

• Cambodian Couple Saws House In Two In Divorce Settlement >>

Friday, October 10, 2008

• NY Election Mix-Up: 'Osama' On The Ballot >>

Thursday, October 9, 2008

• Judge Sentences Rap Fan To Bach, Beethoven >>
• Man To Hold 'I Was Stupid' Sign Outside Wiscounsin Plant >>
• Strong-Arm Robber Ends Up $30 In The Hole >>

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

• Judge Dismisses Blonde's Lawsuit Over Brown Dye >>

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

• Great Pumpkin Tops 1,500 Pounds >>

Saturday, October 4, 2008

• Chinese Wins Tightrope Contest Across Seoul River >>
• Overweight Couple Told They're Too Heavy For Plane To Take Off >>

Friday, October 3, 2008

• 2008 LG Nobel Prizes Honor Research On Stripper Fertility And Coca-Cola As Spermicide >>
• Russian Man Faces Jail For Eating Ex-wife's Passport >>

Thursday, October 2, 2008

• Bid Of $1.75 On EBay Gets Abandoned Saginaw Home >>
• DUI Charge Dropped: It Was Mare's Milk, Not Beer >>
• Man Shoots Himself In Arm After Being Denied Sex >>
• Playboy Offers New Way To Lose Shirt On Wall Street

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

• Lingerie Model Found Guilty Of 'Bra-bery' Attempt >>

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

• Kern County Thieves Make It Easy For Authorities >>
• Thieves Pay Court Fines With Stolen Cash >>

Saturday, September 27, 2008

• Oregon Hospital Tells Grandfather He's Pregnant >>

Thursday, September 25, 2008

• Japan Holds Diaper Fashion Show — For Adults
• Man Hit By Truck Then Ticketed For Jaywalking >>
• PETA's Latest Campaign? Make Ice Cream From Human Breast Milk >>

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

• D'oh! Man Accused Of Stealing Empty Beer Truck >>
• Man Charged After Allegedly Passing Gas Toward Cop >>
• Man Without Pants At NY Pastry Shop Pleads Guilty >>

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

• Elvis Is Alive Museum Up For Bids
• Monster Pig Traps Aussie Woman In Home >>
• New Zealand's Election Campaign Goes To The Dogs >>

Monday, September 22, 2008

• Rubber Ducks To Help Track Melting Glacier? >>
• Spears' Breastfeeding Photo Stolen

Sunday, September 21, 2008

• Woman Named Bacon Wins Idaho Hog-Calling Title

Saturday, September 20, 2008

• Naked Bartender Gets Date In Court >>
• Officials To Pave Over Music-Making Asphalt
• To Cure Greed Disease, Apply More Money >>

Friday, September 19, 2008

• 'Topless Midget Oil Wrestling' Costs Bar
• Man Convicted Of Stealing From Toddler's Piggy Bank >>
• Nigeria Nut Outscams Stox 'Crook' >>
• NYC Tap Water Bottled, Sold For $1.50!
• Panel: Lawyer Cut Fees In Return For Nude Dances
• Toads Take Over Oregon Neighborhood In Wake Of Tropical Storm Fay (Video) >>

Thursday, September 18, 2008

• Brad Pitt Tops Charts For Most Celebrity Malware Sites >>
• Egyptian Donkey Jailed For Theft >>
• NJ Callers Dialing Dems Get Sex Chat Offer Instead >>
• No Bull: Police Lasso Bull On NYC's Streets >>
• S. Korea Police Seize Beds, Baths In Sex Trade Crackdown >>

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

• Green Leader Apologises For NOT Smoking Pot
• Man Acquitted In August Accused Of Robbing Same Bank >>
• Man Who Cleaned Public Restroom Gets Golden Plunger Award >>
• Nigeria Rights Groups Find 86 Lawyers For Man With 86 Wives >>
• Strange 'Ant From Mars' Discovered In Amazon Rainforest >>
• Winner Of Free Funeral Hasn't Claimed Prize >>

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

• Auction To Feature Paintings By Penguin, Sea Lions >>
• City Uses DNA To Fight Dog Droppings (Video) >>
• Hundreds Protest Nepal Crackdown On Nude Discos
• Man Blames Crack Habit For Theft Of Beer Cans >>
• NFL Player Posts Photo Of His Genitals >>
• Saudi Cleric Says Mickey Mouse Must Die >>
• Terrifying Croco-Frog Stalked Ancient World >>
• Use Cattle Prod On Unemployed Says Australian Politician >>
• Woman Finds 8 Foot Python In Hotel Toilet >>

Monday, September 15, 2008

• Cop Loses Badge Over Stolen Breakfast
• Drunken Owner Tethers Horse On Balcony Overnight (Video) >>
• Many Women Do Not Check Breasts >>
• Police Taser Nude Man Walking A Dog >>
• Saggy Pants Law Ruled Unconstitutional >>
• Shrinkage: Eating Just Veggies Shrinks Brain (Video) >>
• Woman Bites Boyfriend Over Dishwashing Dispute >>
• Woman Mistakes Skunk For Cat, Gets Big Surprise >>

Sunday, September 14, 2008

• Baby Born In Car Named After Car (Video) >>
• Child Delivers Mom's Baby (Video) >>
• Dog Saves Owner's Life By Dialing 911
• Five-Year-Old Hits Hole-In-One (Video) >>
• France Mulls Picnic Tax On Disposables >>
• Man Gets Trapped In Hole Overnight Trying To Rob Office

Saturday, September 13, 2008

• No Elevator? No Problem - Super Man Falls To Death >>
• Slammer Sex Shrink Gets Off >>
• Smarting Can Make You Smarter >>
• Taxi Drivers Have Brain 'Sat-Nav' >>

Friday, September 12, 2008

• Champion Eater To Defend Grits Title >>
• For Sale: Luxury Villa With Pool, Taliban Death Threat >>
• Hallucinogenic Chocolates Doom Berlin Treatery
• Indian Museum Recreates Gandhi's Toilet >>
• Judge Swears In All-White Jury For O.J. Trial
• Mom Allegedly Uses Daughter's ID To Be Cheerleader >>
• Prayers For Pets Are Taxable Business >>
• Priest Accused Of Selling Coke From Rectory
• Scientist Explodes Big Butt Myth >>
• TV Chef Stabs Self In Chest With Kitchen Knife >>

Thursday, September 11, 2008

• City Sheds Million Pounds Of Fat >>
• Cyber Crooks Set Email Trap With Bogus Obama Sex Video >>
• Firefighter Revives Cat Mouth To Meow-th >>  Video >>
• Half-pint Tackles Six Foot Shoplifter >>
• Impressive Claw Saves Lobster's Bacon >>
• Nevada Wardens Seize Illegal African Frogs >>
• Queen Mistakenly Sent 2,000 Pints Of Beer >>
• Stolen Car Graveyard Found In Lake
• Supermutt Swallows Arrow >>

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

• XXX Crude: Sex For Oil Scandal? >>
• Airline Seeks Bald Men As Walking Billboards >>
• City Plans To Convert Human Waste To Energy
• Death Row Dog Breaks Out Of Kennel >>
• Lost Cat Returns Home Nine Years Later
• Movie Quote Helps Pair Survive 15 Hours In Water >>
• Principal Regrets Making Students View Excrement >>
• Puppy Eats Six Pounds Of Rocks, Lives
• Teacher OK After Crashing Into Bear
• Woman Awakens From Coma To Marry >>

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

• Lovin' It: Man Claims To Have Gobbled 23,000+ Big Macs (Video) >>
• Drunk Blames Poor Driving On Spilled Beer
• Clueless Uranium Smugglers Spared Jail
• September Has Been Heavenly For Slugs >>
• Theives Attempt To Steal Hearse As Mourners Gather For Funeral >>

Monday, September 8, 2008

• Burglar Whacks Man With Sausage Before Fleeing >>

Sunday, September 7, 2008

• Madonna Dedicates ‘Like A Virgin’ To Pope >>
• Flying Fish KOs Arkansas Teen >>

Friday, September 5, 2008

• Wheelchair Bandit Rolls Away With Box Of Condoms
• Bear Lays Smackdown On Rural Pothead Farm >>
• Texas Man Kills Intruder With Own Gun >>

Thursday, September 4, 2008

• Misprint Routes Callers To Sex Line >>
• Cats Rescued After Starting House Fire >>
• Man Accused Of Igniting Sleeping Man's Pants >>
• Son Spots Dad On TV 5 Years After Family Cremated Him >>

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

• Cross-dressing Thief Leaves Behind Fake Breast >>

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

• Chocolate-covered Burglar Charged In Auto Theft
• Not So Dumbo After All >>
• Fat Tax For The Unfit >>
• Man Charged With Selling Stolen Bras On Web >>

Thursday, August 28, 2008

• Heavy Sleeper Doses Through SWAT Standoff >>
• Miracle Diaper Saves Baby's Life >>
• Pope Condemns Crucified Drunk Frog (Video) >>

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

• Oh Rats! Dubious Meat Nipped By Inflation

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

• Slain Couple Leaves Behind Bizarre Will >>

Monday, August 25, 2008

• Fame Finds 4-Eared Feline Thanks To Internet Photo >>

Friday, August 22, 2008

• Man Uses Barbie Fishing Rod To Make Record Catch >>
• Shoplifting Seagull Caught On Camera (Video) >>

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

• Colorado Residents Debate Cow And Bear Confrontation >>

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

• Fashionable Fermentation? (Video) >>

Monday, August 18, 2008

• Baby Whale Thinks Yacht Is Mother >>

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

• Burger King Bath Sinks Worker's Career >>  Video >>

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

• Man Claims To Be Inspector, Demands Free Porn Videos >>

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

• Policewomen Get Bullet-Proof Bras >>

Monday, August 4, 2008

• Chef: Sorry For Suggesting Poison Plant In Salad >>
• Farmer Erects His Own 'Redneck Stonehenge' >>

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

• Nevada Brothel Offers Customers Gas Rebate >>

Thursday, June 26, 2008

• Drinkers Invite Croc Into Australia Pub >>

Monday, June 23, 2008

• Ex-Cook Pleads Guilty To Putting Hair In Steak >>

Thursday, June 19, 2008

• Russian Spa Opens Monument To The Enema >>
• Thief Breaks Into Donation Box, Steals Fake Money >>

Monday, June 16, 2008

• Feds Say Man Wore Diaper Full Of Heroin >>
• Italian Kidnaps Ex-Girlfriend To Get Ironing Done >>

Friday, June 6, 2008

• Pa. Crews Rescue Nude Man Stuck In Portable Potty >>

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

• Minor Leaguer Traded For 10 Baseball Bats In Texas >>

Thursday, May 22, 2008

• Lost Parrot Tells Vet His Home Address >>

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

• 'Darth Vader' Spared Jail In Jedi Church Attacks >>

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

• Great Satan Sits Down With Axis Of Evil >>

Thursday, July 20, 2006

• Bed Sharing Drains Men's Brains >>

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

• Woman Locked Out Of Car By Cat >>

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

• Ice Cream Man Has Assets Frozen >>

Total Headlines: 247

Sources:

• The Age
• BBC News
• Breitbart
• CBS News
• China Daily
• The Drudge Report
• Fox News
• The Guardian
• L.A. Times
• MSNBC
• Reuters
• SF Gate
• Tallahassee Democrat
• Times Online

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