Seven Jokes for Sunday: Married, Dyslexic and...Blonde?
Sunday, July 5, 2009 08:00 AM EST
I decided to lay off the blonde jokes this week and focus on the other amusing aspects of life. Of course, I wasn't entirely successful…
1 I'm a good husband. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
2 Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa.3 What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.4 A dyslexic man walked into a bra…
5 Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then once he is married, he is finished.
6 In the first year of marriage, the man speaks, and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks, and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak, and the neighbors listen.
7 A crew of dastardly pirates captured a red head, a brunette, and a blonde and took them to their ship. The captain asked the redhead, "What is yer last wish before I make a boat out of yer skin?"
"A knife," said the redhead.
He gave it to her and she cut herself free and escaped.
Next he asked the brunette, "What do you want?"
"A pair of scissors," she replied.
The captain gave it to her and she snipped her way to freedom and fled into the night.
He turned to the blonde and asked, "And what do you want?"
"A fork," she replied. Once she had the fork in hand she began to poke herself.
"What are ya doin'?"
"Ha, ha, ha," the blonde laughed. "Your boat's gonna have holes in it."
And, to top it off, the bumper sticker of the week:
Get a new car for your spouse - it's a great trade!
Runner up:
Blondes arent dumm.
