Flash Fiction: Enchanted Underpants

January 28 at 8:00 PM

Photo courtesy of Dave Gates

A craggy old man walked to the center of town and inquired, "Does anyone have a pair of underpants I can borrow?"

The peasants looked at each other. Surely they'd never heard a request so strange. Even the town elder thought it odd.

"What's wrong with ones you had?" said a peasant from his window.

"It was made of wolf's skin and it came alive and bit me."

The peasant cracked open the door and handed him a bag. "Here, take this. It's made of sheep skin."

The old man thanked him and went on his way.

The next day the old man came back and asked, "Is there anyone who has pair of underpants I can borrow, preferably not of sheep skin?"

"What's wrong with sheep skin?" said the peasant from the day before.

"As soon as I put them on, the undergarments made of wolf's skin returned to the castle and chased the sheep skin off my hind end."

"Here," a woman held out a bag from her window. "While it may look brash, I threaded it from the feathers of an golden owl."

He thanked her and hurried along.

The townspeople placed bets on whether or not he would return a third time, and when he did they were little surprised.

"What's wrong now?" The woman shouted from her window.

"As soon as I put them on it flapped its feathers and flew after the wolf and sheep," he sobbed. "Is there not anyone who can help me?"

Finally the town elder recognized him. "Here Jack, take mine. They're made out of piranha skin. That way if you start eating those magic beans again, your undergarments will come alive and bite off your rear end."

Jack put them on and was instantly cured and never bothered that poor little town again.

THE END