Pauperdelle - Prologue: Smiley
June 10 at 1:00 PM
Photo by Sergio Castro
What the old bastard needed was a smile, so I took the finest Crayola I could find, the one labeled Jazzberry Jam, and scribbled across his maw. It wasn't nearly as impressive as it was on posterboard, so I pressed harder until jammy snapped in two. "More pastels," I exclaimed and dove into the box. What was this? Purple Pizzazz? Perfect. I was going to turn that frown upside-down, so help me God! I knifed down harder and harder until the skin peeled off. His five o'clock shadow was doing hell on my rainbow jive. "What you really need is a shave," I yelled into his ear. "Got a razor handy?"
There was no reply.
"Didn't think so. And I guess this won't help either," I tossed his gun aside. Clearly he was not amused. But it was so damned funny it was starting to piss me off.
"Give it a rest," Chelvin tugged at my sleeve. "He's dead already."
"Dead?!" That put a frown to my face. No good, no how. I'd broken all my damn crayons for nothing. "And you're telling me this, why?" I picked up the gun and fired.
Blood splattered across the dead guard's face.
"You shot me in the arm, you bastard," Chelvin giggled. I doubted that he could feel a thing, especially with all the happy pills I'd pumped into him. In fact, he still had one stuck to the side of his face. Or perhaps that was the growth he was born with? Too hard to tell. I tried feeding my friend Mr. Unsmiley a few earlier but he wouldn't bite. I guess I was just going to have to carve that smile off Chelvin's yapper and slap it on him instead. Hell, it was worth a try.
The blood muddied my masterpiece. I knew the rules. Color within the lines. But all things considered, the blood added a flair that I just could not achieve with an ordinary box of wax-colored sticks. It was the effect I was looking for, so I lathered it on broad and thick. "Now that's one hell of a smile!" The corners of my mouth turned inward.
"Another satisfied customer," Chelvin mumbled. "Over 55 billion served."
"55 billion?" I blasted him again. "What are you trying to do, kill me?"
Chelvin was quiet for a while.
Finally I tossed the box of crayons aside and paced. "Besides, where am I supposed to find the other 55 billion?" It irked me that of all moments he chose not to respond. "Out there!" I raised Chelvin's hand, pointing beyond the barbed wire fence.
And with a smiley, I obliged.
